The Adventures of: Who Really Knows?
by Quarter Queen 13
Summary: AntarticaxNearxSnowmen/boyxMelloxSpiderMonkeyxMattxWeaselxLindaxPinkBunnyxRogerxStickBugxUnnamedNursexPorcupine... Just felt like writing something totaly random...


**If you have an idea of what you want to happen in the next chapter feel free to leave a comment about it. =D**

Once upon a time in Antarctica there lived a fluffy toy obsessed snow man named Near, a short tempered chocoholic spider monkey named Mello, and a video game consumed weasel named Matt. They where all orphans of some sort living along side other orphans of some sort, with Roger, the old glasses-wearing stick bug managing all of them.

Near walked around on the large glaciers one day, finger puppets hooked onto his snowy fingers not really knowing where he was going, just needing to get away from the racket Mello had started with the others. You'd think kids wouldn't want their underwear covered in chocolate… But nooooooo, they just _have_ to eat them. Near made a disgusted face as the image popped back into his mind, before concentrating on something else, like his puppets that where now hard to tell apart from snowballs. He shook the excess snow off the small figures and started playing again, before he looked back up to see a familiar figure heading towards him. Matt…

The small weasel walked up to Near, his large goggles too big for his own good laying on his small head and a game boy held in his small hands. His head was bent down to the game, absorbed as usual, but he walked as if he wasn't looking at a glowing game screen, stepping over ice chunks and swerving around rocks. "Hey Near!" he said, still looking down at the glowing screen momentarily before actually looking up with a _snap_ of the two screens closing together.

"Hello Matt." Near said, tone the same emotionless squeak like always.

"What 'cha, doing?" Matt asked sitting down beside Near and taking a long drag off of his cigarette.

"Leaving" Near, said in a bored tone before scooting away from Matt.

"Hmm… alrighty then! See ya later!" Matt called after him and then got up off the ice, turning around to smack right into what seemed to feel like a rock wall. "Funny… Didn't remember a rock being there… Oh, what pretty stars…" he said in a daze before falling to the ground with a small _thump_ hand reached out to try and catch the imaginary stars the floated around his head.

A large white sketchbook was held in the paws of a furry pink bunny named Linda, hopping over to see Matt. Her eyes widened as she looked down at the small weasel that had turned into the book that was held tight to her furry chest. "Oh my! Matt are you ok?" she asked hesitantly looking down at him and waving a paw around his face.

"I've never tried liverwurst, sounds like a job for Squirtle, ATTACK!" Matt slurred one eye half closed.

"Oh no! I better get you to see Roger" Linda said picking up one of his legs and dragging him back to Rogers igloo.

"Ok… did he try his underwear yet? Mello said they where delicious…" Matt slurred again stares still whirling around his head.

Linda got an even more worried look over her pink face as she listened to Matt's weird phrases, and soon came to the conclusion not to speak until at Roger's.

**One tired bunny later…**

"Who knew weasels could be so heavy" Linda thought out loud and looked down at Matt who was now sleeping/drooling/mumbling before she turned around to see Mello walking around. Eyes went wider as she saw the already angry expression on his face and tried to pull Matt faster knowing Mello wouldn't be very happy to see his best friend being dragged along like a murder scene. _Only a few more feet until Roger's igloo _she thought, but just as soon as he caught a glimpse of the guilty scene he was rushing over to them.

"What happened?!?" Mello yelled at the top of his lungs as he looked down at Matt who was now screaming 'Die Caterpillar!!' for no reason.

"W-well… y-you see…" Linda started a bit shaken with Mello's loud vocals; big ears could only handle so much volume. Once she gathered her thoughts once more she continued to tell a very unobservant and now glowing red Mello what had happen, also drawing a small sketch of what happened when Mello failed to respond and just glared.

"Linda you idiot! You don't just go hitting people on the head with notebooks!" Mello yelled stomping around before freezing in mid-step and turning to see Roger next to him and adjusting his glasses over his pointy little nose. "Um… Uh… Hey Roger! Looking spiffy!" he said shrinking down a bit.

Roger looked at Mello with a disappointed look and then down to Matt who was sucking his thumb and humming _Marry Had a Little Lamb_.

"Right… I'll just go bring him to the nurse then." Mello and wrapped his tail around one of Matt's legs, carrying him away to the infirmary.

Linda looked to Roger for a moment, who was staring at her with a worried look. After a few minutes she looked in front of her and saw that she was still holding the sketchbook straight out in his face. "Oh, ha-ha! Silly me. Well… I guess I will be going now." She said nervously and let out a huff of breath out as Roger nodded and headed back into his igloo. She turned to bounce away before she heard an angry yell from Mello behind her.

"You did it! You're coming!" Mello yelled glaring back at her.

"Coming!" Linda called back to him after a slight cringe with his words and bounced over, sketchbook still held tight to her chest.

**One class three concussion later…**

"So tell me again how you did it." Near said poking the now sleeping Matt on the nose and then turning to Linda with wide interested eyes.

"Well, he ran into my sketchbook." Linda answered for the fifth time and beaming with joy, just happy to have Near's attention.

"More like a Deathbook!" Mello scowled from sitting next to Matt on the small bed.

"One apple pie with ants please!" Matt slurred out of nowhere again, and still with no one used to the weird outbursts they all stared.

"Oh I'm soooooo sorry Matt!" Linda whined and then broke down completely slumping down into the corner and crying, dabbing her eyes with her large ears while her sketchbook or Deathbook as Mello had put it dropped to the ground.

Near and Mello turned their stares to Linda as she started crying and then they both looked down at the sketchbook, then up at each other.

"Oh no you don't!" Mello yelled and flung himself at the sketchbook.

"I'm sorry that answer is incorrect" Near said propelling himself at the sketchbook at the same time.

"Poor broccoli!!!" Matt screamed with a slur out of nowhere and everyone turned to look at him with a weird face before they went on continuing with their rampage. Linda having a mental breakdown in the corner, Mello and Near flying towards the notebook to kill one another, and Matt half way conked out. Oh joy!

Mello and Near reached the sketchbook at the same exact moment, colliding heads with a loud and oddly hollow _bonk_.

"I'm too young to go to jail!" Linda wailed from her corner, furry paws pressed to her tear soaked face. "Have mercy on me God!"

The boys looked at each other for a moment before falling flat, Mello on the bottom and Near soon losing his balance also right on top, falling over each other in a crossed formation. As if they had been purposely put there to make a good death scene.

"That sounded funky…" Matt slurred, his little limbs flailing about, goggles falling over his eyes with all his movement "Who turned the stars out?" he questioned with another slur seeing the already dark igloo around him go black with his goggles and making the stars that circled his head grow faint.

**Three class three concussions later…**

By the time the nurse had come back and saw the mess of beings laying around in perfect formation, the group had already reached their low. A snoring Matt who had fallen from his small bed and onto the pile with Mello and Near, and then Linda curled up into a crying ball of pink fuzz in the corner. The Nurse shook her spiky little head of a porcupine and then scurried off to find Roger.

**One Roger later…**

Roger looked down at the strange scene and then helped the spiky nurse get the three boys into a few cots and unrolled a corrupted Linda, Roger having to drag her away by the ear.

Once Roger got Linda to calm down a bit--a bit meaning that she had stopped clinging to his leg and begging for forgiveness—he brought her back to her own igloo and then went back to his own.

Sitting down at his desk he slumped over and pushed his small spiny hand into a secret compartment to pull out a long bottle of whiskey. He looked around the igloo and then with an evil smirk started to chug the bottle down his small throat, drowning his sorrows with alcohol.

**To be continued… ****or not… or maybe the world will just come crashing down on us and this writer will never live again… ? ****ONLY KIRA KNOWS!**

Mimi walked in and waved to everyone, then said in a sweet voice "Remember…" she looked around before continuing "I WANNA CHOMP YOUR HEAD OFF!"


End file.
